Friday, January 31, 2014

Will I or won't I?

My last few days have been alllll about tracking that O. Peeing on sticks, temping like a madman, comparing charts to others. The big question is:
Will I actually ovulate this cycle?

I've been having anovulatory cycles more often than not so I'm really hoping we actually have a chance this month. Told N it's on like donkey kong, and I'm acting like a horny teenager.

See he works nights and I work days, we have about 30 minutes together in the AM before I have to get ready for work and on nights he works, I don't even make it home before he leaves.. This makes constant sex really hard to accomplish. I mean really, really hard. I'm NOT a morning person, so trying to get in the mood at 630am hasn't been easy. And when I'm not in the mood, it's pretty obvious.

Add that to the fact that N gets a little performance anxiety when so much is on the line AND having a 30 minute time limit and sometimes what gets started, never gets finished. It's difficult to not be disappointed. And I'm not disappointed in HIM just at the situation. I want to be pregnant so bad, and I want to take every chance we have to do it naturally, but I don't want it to feel like a chore for either of us.

So how do you walk that line? How do you make timed sex still feel spontaneous and sexy? And how do you mask the pain when it doesn't work?


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