Wednesday, April 9, 2014

First appointment update

Well I'm not super happy with how my appointment went. First of all let me say I love my OB/GYN, I've been going to him for as long as I can remember and usually, his calm/cool/collected demeanor is refreshing but this time, not so much.

He basically ignored the fact I've been charting for the last few cycles. He seemed rather unconcerned with the fact that my average cycle is over 35 days, with most being in the 40+ range. "Not ovulating every month is fairly common" Yeah, but not ovulating MOST of the months isn't... Ovulating on day 28+ ISN'T NORMAL. Basically all he wants to do is a SA for Hubs (that gets sent to an RE that's about 40 mins away... Hubs is NOT happy about that) and a CD21 panel for me to "see if I'm ovulating". Look fucker, I can tell you right now I'm not, and if I am it's late and I surge multiple times before I finally do... so let's skip the baby step bull shit and get down to business. This isn't like a game of Monopoly where you just play and play until someone wins... this game has a sand timer and a fucking buzzer each time your turn is up.

Oh and I asked him about his thoughts on Clomid vs Femara... he looked at me like I had 4 heads. He said "plenty of women have gotten pregnant on Clomid and it's cheaper" I specifically asked about lining issues he said he thought they were "grossly exaggerated". Now I'm pissy and taking that kind of personally for all my new found friend that DID have lining issues on Clomid.

Mom went with me to the appt, I'm really glad she did but at one point said that she thought I was too worried and if maybe connecting with people that have been struggling with this for years might be doing more harm than good. Mom has Hashimoto's disease that was recently FINALLY diagnosed. I asked her, point blank, "If you had access to multiple people that were struggling with this disease for YEARS longer than you, that had already taken every drug, ran every test, seen every doctor, wouldn't you listen to them? Wouldn't you want the same tests ran? Because even if the problem isn't the same, it's something that can be crossed off the list that COULD be the problem. And when you're living on borrowed time, why not start at the top and work your way down instead of starting at the bottom and taking the long route?"

I think a light bulb clicked with her then.

So I'll be scoping out RE's this month. I just joined up with the local Infertility Awareness group and they're actually doing a conference this month so I'll have to find someone to cover soccer for me. I'm going. The 4 RE's here in town will have booths there to help answer questions. Hopefully we figure something out.

15 comments:

  1. Early in my fight a fellow blogger said something to me that made total sense. OB's are in the business of keeping you pregnant and RE's are in the business of getting you pregnant. So if it's getting pregnant you want - go to an RE. And the RE will make the hubby do another SA so if you think you will go to an RE sooner then maybe have him wait if he has anxiety about it. However, he will have to produce samples many times if you go the RE route so maybe practice would be good for him. ;) I say - you're the one that's going to have to go through the real BS. If all I had to do was jerk off into a cup I would have done it happily. good luck lady. Trust your gut. you're right. Oh and yeah - clomid does thin some people's linings. My RE won't let you use it if it shows any effect on the size of your lining. However, Clomid got me preggo twice. So I'm a believer. But it's a bitch!

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    1. I think my major concern is that he totally down played it like monitoring wasn't really something he does on Clomid.. Which concerns me. The good thing is the RE I'd most likely go with, is the one where Hubs SA is going anyway... so we'll see. I know I was like you jack off, I give blood and that's just the start of it!!!!!

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  2. Not having fertility coverage on our insurance makes this so difficult! I would be back to the RE in heartbeat if we had coverage. Like Heidi said I guess the RE is really the place to get us pregnant....why does it have to cost so much ggrrrr.

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    1. I know! It's stupid and makes me hate our joke of Healthcare and insurance even more than I already do!

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  3. "...this game has a sand timer and a fucking buzzer each time your turn is up." I love it.

    And YES, thank you! I had the exact same reaction when my husband told me a couple of months ago that we have plenty of time and there's no need to worry. That or may not be true, but something. isn't. working. Why wouldn't we do everything in our power and use every resource available to us to maybe find an answer? I definitely support you going to the RE if your GYN is going to be so blase about the whole thing. Find those answers girl.

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    1. Right? I mean if you know something is broken, you try and fix it right??

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  4. I would also recommend going straight to a RE and skipping the OB/GYN. In fact, my OB/GYN was the one that told me, this is not my area of expertise, i want to send you to an expert, this is all they do. So I would definitely make an appointment with the RE and they will do much more extensive testing to start with. They may still start out with Clomid, but they will look at all your charts and have a better understanding of your cycles.

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    1. I wish my Dr would have been upfront with me about this instead of blowing it off like it's not a big deal.

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  5. I think it's just protocol. I had to get blood work done, my hubs had to have 2 SA's done, and I had to have an HSG done before the OBGYN ever referred us to an RE. It's frustrating because we all wanted to be pregnant like YESTERDAY...waiting is just plain torture! ;) Try not to get so upset about it. They just need proof, I am sure. :)

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    1. Yeah but my concern is there are a couple other things he could have ordered right then. Like the full panel bloodwork (not just the CD21 progesterone, an HSG, etc.
      Myy cycles haven't been 28 days in god knows how long so how is ordering a CD21 test going to yield accurate results?

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  6. I agree with Heidi too. I say go to a RE. For the longest time, I am the one who was trying to convince my ob/gyn that I thought I had PCOS. He kept denying it. But I have ALL the classic signs except the polycystic ovaries, so he wasn't ready to diagnose me and treat me for it. When I finally moved on to a RE as soon as I walked in the office, one look at me and she said "I'm pretty sure you have PCOS".

    Also, I don't know if you will be dealing with a fertility clinic in particular, but mine, when I called to make the initial appointment, they emailed me a prescription for all the bloodwork they require. So before my first appointment, they already had all my results. I find it speeds things up.

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  7. Hey Holly! Just discovered you. To weigh-in on the subject, there's pro's and con's to both. I went to an RE that pressured me to do IVF before any intervention (before Clomid). So I think a lot of RE's are greedy SOB's. And I was glad to find a competent and compassionate OBGYN who allowed me to try whatever protocols I wanted. But it didn't work, and luckily the OBGYN referred me to a compassionate RE. So, whichever you choose I say make sure they are listening to you and competent (I expect am RE's office to be far more polished for the $$$ they command). And for the record, I hated Clomid and would totally skip it and use Letrozole--less.side effects overall. XO

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  8. Ugh! So sorry this appointment went so poorly. There are definitely times when laid back and chill is super helpful. Infertility tends not to be one of them. I think it makes sense to look into REs.

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  9. He sounds completely uninformed. I think the RE fair sounds AWESOME. Good luck!!

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  10. I think Infertile625 says it perfectly that OBs focus is maintaining pregnancies where as REs focus on getting people pregnant. My own OB was concerned about our lack of success and had me go on Clomid, but completely unmonitored, and only because I wanted to do something to help. That was really her limit of expertise. Fast forward a year and going to an RE, I was on Clomid one cycle and they observed it had a negative affect on my lining so I moved to Femara (and then on from there). I would have never known that with my OB because she had limited knowledge and expertise.

    Good luck with the RE search. Hopefully you can find someone that you are comfortable with and that will listen to your concerns, review your charts and tracking and all you know about yourself so far, and come up with an appropriate plan for you.

    Oh, and I agree this community is a great source of information. Sure, not everyone has the same issues or reacts the same to treatments and meds, but I've found it to be so helpful to hear stories from others in similar situations.

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