Monday, April 7, 2014

11dpo? BFN, NERVES!

I caved and took a test this AM. BFN but I'm surprisingly ok with that. I know it's still early IF I even ovulated yet. I'm starting to lean more and more to the side that says I haven't even though it's CD33. I ovulated on CD 36 last cycle so I'm guessing that might be the case again.

But of course my body hates me and all the signs were there for O to have occurred 11 days ago.. So whatever body, go fuck yourself.

I didn't really expect to see a positive today. But I bought a veritable shit ton of tests off Amazon so...

Also, I'm getting increasingly nervous for my appointment on Wednesday. It's not until the afternoon so I've decided to work from home that day so I'm not freaking out at work. So many of you are already so much further along in this and have been so incredibly helpful!! Reading your blogs, following your journey's before I really even started on mine has been awesome. I feel much more prepared. And then the advice you give! This community really is awesome, even if the thing that brings us together pretty much sucks ass.

After Wednesday I'll be an official, registered infertile one that's on a medically treated path with the rest of you. I'm not going to lie, some days I feel like a fraud that snuck right in to this world before my time. But so many of you know, that you KNOW well before your dr diagnoses you, that something is just wrong. I was there and I decided to do something about it. 

So thank you ladies, for all your help, whether it was voluntary or not. Thank you for not shunning me. 

(Well this got sappier than I intended)




  1. What a crap club to join; I'm right on your heels. I hope Wednesday's appointment sheds some light on what the issue is and the RE has you pregnant in no time.

  2. Sorry about the BFN. Never fun to see. It's so true that I knew I would need help well before a doctor told me I would. Instincts are something we are filled with. Except when it comes to symptom spotting. We throw everything out the window during that TWW. Hope a BFP pops up soon!

  3. Oh yeah our hella exclusive club is totes exciting. But I remember feeling like a fraud, too. Especially since I got PG on my second medicated cycle, in my own freaking bed, without IUI or IVF. Of course I would rather feel like a fraud than have gone through my mc, but hey. Here we are now, and as a fully-vested infertile, I say if you need us, we got you. This club is a shitty place to be, but goddamn if it's not full of wonderful people.

  4. Not exactly the kind of club you want to join BUT this group of ladies are all so very supportive and helpful :) Sorry for the BFN, that stinks :(

  5. Hopefully Wednesday will bring a good plan to get you knocked up! If not, you really do have tons of support from the IF club. It sucks to have to join, but it really does provide tons of support and information.