But it's days like today that terrify me.
So many of my online clan have gotten terrible news over the past 3 days. From BFNs, to awful beta's to miscarriages. I'm heartbroken for every single one of them.
It's so hard to stay positive sometimes. It's hard not to be gripped by the fear. If it can happen to them, it can happen to me too. I want to be there for all of them. I want to hold their hands, buy them a drink and promise them it will all be ok... I want to be able to keep that promise. It's just so unfair.
I'm so nervous for Friday's scan. I'd like to just fall asleep and wake up on my way there. My whole life is hinging on that little heartbeat and if it's not there... I just don't know what I'll do.
I've been so lucky this far and there's nothing I can do but cross my fingers that my luck holds out and Nugget is growing just like s/he's supposed to.